Like a Colt in a Florist's Shop
by obstinateRixatrix
Summary: In which Rarity enlists herself in helping Applejack cater at the Canterlot castle, introduces Applebloom to the Princess, and defends Big Macintosh's honor the only way she knows how. While getting a little payback in the process, of course.
1. Here's the mail, it never fails!

This takes place sometime after the Gala, possibly after Sweet and Elite for character-development purposes, and that's pretty much all you need to know. This is mainly inspired by SgtMajorShowOff's most excellent fic "How Gallant He Will Be," which is unfortunately on hiatus but please do check it out anyway.

I hope my lack of ownership in regards to any actual part of this franchise does not impede your enjoyment of this fic. Also that you enjoy this fic.

* * *

It was a balmy summer morning, the kind that draped everything under the sun with a pleasant lethargy. Fillies and foals alike lounged about under Celestia's benign rays, simply basking in the lack of schoolwork and teachers and other such maladies of life. Indeed, they were eager to do absolutely nothing as hard as they could to make up for all the lost time wasted on arithmetic, history, and other such nonsense. Sleeping in, now _there_ was something important! Something worth doing! Something that everypony was certainly going to put their very best effort into.

Of course, even the best of efforts are eventually thwarted if you happened to be going against Applejack.

"Ah don't see why you hafta work me so hard when it's summer, there's barely anythin' to do," the unjustly enslaved filly grumbled. "You coulda at _least_ givin' me another hour. It's cruelty, it is! Other fillies'll be spendin' the first day of break sleepin' 'til noon!"

"Other fillies don' live on an apple farm, sugarcube. You know how the Carolinas are," Applejack shot back as she hoisted a harness onto her back with her sister's reluctant help. Big Macintosh busied himself with setting up some barrels, no stranger to their banter. This was a familiar argument – almost an inescapable law of the universe when you came right down to it. As long as there wasn't school to occupy her time, Applebloom would do her darnedest to wheedle out of as much work as possible. But this year, her sister had a weapon, a foolproof motivator at her disposal courtesy of the youngest Apple herself. "You never know, maybe this'll be how you finally get'cher cutie mark."

After that, Applebloom would've gladly set herself on fire if it meant getting her coveted cutie mark. Big Mac chuckled at her sudden eagerness to help as she found a hidden vigor for fetching barrels while Applejack merely rolled her eyes skyward. "Ah sincerely hope ah wusn't that silly about the whole business when ah was her age."

"Ah dunno Jack," her brother drawled. "You did go all the way out to Manehatten, of all places."

"Please don't remind me," Applejack muttered, grumbling almost as much as her sister had been. She readied herself as she set to start the first kick of the season, always a monumental affair, when a resounding _THUNK_ hit the tree from the other side. The apples plopped into the barrels before she could blink. "What in tarnation-!"

A low moan arose from the source of the clamor, a local mail pony, as she tried to shake off her dizziness. "That tree always gets me."

Applejack trotted over to the dazed pegasus. "You okay, Ditzy?" she asked uncertainly. Even if this wasn't an uncommon occurrence, she was always sure that Ditzy Doo really was going to hurt herself one of these days. Luckily for all, today was not that day and the pegasus gave a bright, though slightly cross-eyed, smile. "I'm better than okay, I've got mail! And it's for you!" She beamed even more as she dropped her carrier. Letters littered the ground as she rummaged through the bag, vaguely continuing her train of thought. "It's really important too, urgent, urgent, urgent! Put it right in my urgent pocket, where it's easy to find, dunno why I can't… Aha!" The grey mare triumphantly pulled out a scroll and stuffed it into Applejack's mouth. "There we go, nice and safe. Bye now!" Ditzy Doo promptly flew off, leaving a trail of scattered missives in her wake.

Applejack spat out the urgent spool of paper and sputtered a bit, trying to get the taste of parchment out of her mouth. "Ah swear, someday that pony'll be… the Princess!"

"Now there's a scary thought."

"No Big Mac, this here's from the Princess! Ah mean, more like from her ambassadors and delegates and what-have-yous, but it's from the _Princess_!"

"What does the Princess want with us?" Big Mac eyed the letter incredulously. Sure, there was that one friend of AJ's that knew her way around Canterlot, but it's never really sunk in that their family could be so close with royalty. After all, Princess Celestia was practically folklore.

"She wants us to cater to one 'o her fancy shindigs, the one next week! Tarts, cider, pies, you name it! She even wants, uh, 'that exquisite-looking cake that was unlucky enough to be an unfortunate casualty during the Gala' and gosh, she's willin' to let us stay in the castle and everything! We'll _finally_ be able to get that hip fer Granny! An' the roof'll get fixed, an' golly, we ain't even got that plough yet!" Laughing, Applejack pulled her bewildered brother into a clumsy dance.

"Ah don't think haulin' barrels'll get me mah cutie mark," Applebloom called weakly as she heaved a couple casks back into the field. She blinked at the sight of her siblings engaged in a one-sided celebratory jig. "Whut'd ah miss?" she asked as Applejack bounded over to her, dragging Big Macintosh all the while.

"Applebloom, Applebloom! The Princess wants the Apple family to cater for a jamboree!"

"Really!?" All traces of exhaustion completely disappeared. "That's fantastic! Can ah come Applejack, can ah can ah puh-leeeez?" Applejack's dance stalled to a halt as she dropped her very dizzy brother. "Ah dunno. You might not be up fer such a big job," she started uncertainly, glancing down at where Big Macintosh was strewn about. He was unable to offer any comments.

"Oh come on, you never let me work when it's actually fun! Tell 'er, Big Mac." She fixed him with the most pathetically dejected pout her little filly face could muster. Skimming over the letter that was tossed aside during the excitement, the colt hummed. "Well, the Princess _does_ say to bring whoever we need. An' who knows, this'll be great experience for her, won' it?" Applejack still looked hesitant, but her little sister was nothing if not persistent. "Ah _promise_ ah'll be on mah best behavior, ah'll follow all the rules and listen to _everythin'_ you say! You'll barely know ah'm there, except when you need me fer helpin' out an' stuff!" In the end, her good mood won out and Applejack nodded.

"Remember, you said _everythin'_ so no backtalk, y'hear?" Applebloom squealed, bouncing all around her siblings. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy, wait'll the Crusaders hear 'bout this! No wait, wait'll Granny hears! Ah'm gonna tell her right this instant!" With that, the youngest galloped off to the house, brimming with excitement. Applejack stared fondly after her, unable to keep her own silly grin off her face.

"Golly, ah just can't believe it. The Princess, the _actual_ Princess, wants us in Canterlot! This is amazin', ah just can't-" she froze. "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no _no_."

Baffled by her sudden change in demeanor, Big Macintosh cautiously waved a hoof in front of her stock-still face. "Everythin' okay there, Jack? You look a little-" she suddenly broke into a flurry of motion.

"Canterlot! Do you know what this means, Mac? We'll be a _laughingstock!_" she wailed. "Those persnickety snobs'll eat us fer lunch! What're we gonna do, this is a terrible idea!"

"Well-"

"An' what if the Princess agrees with 'em? We won't be able to sell a single bushel!"

"We-"

"Shoot, ah shoulda thought uh this before lettin' Applebloom come. Ah mean do you remember th' Gala? This'll be like Rarity's fashion show all over again!"

"You-"

"Wait, if anyone can help us it's Rarity. She practic'ly breathes this frou-frou stuff! And Twi, she's lived there all her life!"

Big Macintosh kept quiet.

"An' she'd be able to help with th' uniforms, if we hafta go around serving people! Or is the castle staff supposed to do that? Oh man, ah've gotta talk to 'em!" Applejack broke into a gallop, leaving her brother in the dust. "Ah'll be back, two hours tops!" she called over her shoulder. "You get started on the apples Big Mac, we're gonna need to bring a whole lot to Canterlot!"

Big Macintosh eyed the vast acres of apples before him, and sighed.

* * *

It was a pretty lax scene in the Carousel Boutique, what with it barely an hour after sunrise; it was still too early for many rational ponies to even think about dragging themselves out of bed. However, Rarity has always prided herself on getting an early start – she usually gave herself at least an hour before opening the store to check on stocks, resort the racks, and tidy up after any late-night inspirational sprees. As it was, the fashionista had hardly opened her store when a beleaguered Applejack burst through the doors and scattered her once neatly-stacked ledgers. "Applejack," she greeted, with only a hint of reproach, "must you make such a mess?" After distinctly not hearing anything about how obsessively fastidious she was and other such responses, Rarity looked up and took in the exhausted pony. "Did you sprint all the way from the Apple Acres?"

"No need t' worry, jus' gotta… catch my breath… pfuh,"

"Really, you simply must take better care of yourself," the unicorn chided, fussing over her friend. "Just because you can run nonstop doesn't mean you should. I'm sure whatever you needed wasn't so urgent it should warrant such exertion. At least, I hope not. Oh my, it's not an emergency is it? Here, come with me to the back, I'll fetch us some water."

"Nah, don't bother. Ah'll be fine." After burning off so much energy and losing the rush of adrenaline, Applejack was beginning to feel more than a little ridiculous for her minor freak-out. Rarity was supposed to be the Drama Queen extraordinaire, not levelheaded, down to earth Applejack. She didn't get worked up about appearances and frivolous things like that, she was all about being sensible! But, this was a hard case, something that blended both together and for the first time since that last disaster of a party Applejack wasn't so sure that her abilities were up to snuff. The more she thought about it… the Canterlot scene wasn't her place, was it? Previous excursions have proved this. No, it's better to back out of this while she still could. But this was an amazing opportunity, what Celestia was willing to pay was _astronomical_, enough to let them ease off the work and invest in future endeavors. But would that matter if the Princess found her cooking to be… unsatisfactory? Trapped by indecision, Applejack lapsed into a sullen silence.

But of course, Rarity was having none of that.

"Ooooh no you don't. Applejack, dahling, I've never seen you so worked up before! What's gotten into you?" The subject of her query shuffled uncomfortably, the recent bouts of conflicting emotions quite effectively scattering her thoughts. "Ah, ah'm not sure, ah jus' don't-"

"Is this about the new job?"

Applejack balked. How on earth had Rarity known!?

"Don't look so shocked, dear. You remember the Crusaders and their stint with Morse Code? 'Cutie Mark Codebreakers', or whatever name they used to justify hauling their antiquated parts and pieces through my shop. Took forever to clean up after their trails of dust and dirt, you'd think the thing hadn't seen the light of day since it was invented! I'm surprised you didn't pass Sweetie Belle, she left to congratulate Applebloom as soon as she figured out 'cakepilot' was 'Canterlot'." She led her friend to one of the many couches that littered her store. "Come now, this is no time to be shy! Now tell me what's wrong or I, I'll… why, I'll make you model every single dress in my shop!"

"Wh..!" The farmpony stumbled into the plush upholstery, flashing back to the last time she had to be fitted for one of Rarity's designs. Not that it was a bad outfit, not by any stretch! But still… "You couldn't! There's no way in _heck_ ah could stand still for so long ever again! And besides, ah'm not even the right size fer most of them outfits! And those _needles_." She shuddered, trying to appeal to whatever shred of mercy the unicorn possessed, but to no avail.

"_Pins_, dahling. And," Rarity continued, waving a hairbrush in a vaguely threatening manner with a flick of her horn, "I think you'll find that there's a reason my masterpieces come in an array of different sizes. Just _try_ me." The vaguely threatening hairbrush was beginning to look a lot more menacing by the second. Though nopony would want to call Rarity stubborn (if they valued their lives), there was a general consensus that she had a tenacity that was awe-inspiring . As long as you weren't the center of her focus, that is. Then it was just terrifying. Applejack let out a defeated sigh, and conceded.

"Okay, okay, ah'll spill. Just put that thing away, will'ya? Ah'm goin' apple-buckin' later, ah don't need to look like some gussied-up showpony fer that. Ah got enough flak from Big Mac fer bein' at'cher show."

"You mean with the outfit _you_ designed?" Applejack had the good grace to wilt under her raised eyebrow.

"Well, y'see… that's kinda the problem." She shifted uneasily. "Ah'm, well, not really the classy type. Never have been, never will, and ah'm fine with that! Ah'm not meant for the highfalutin road, ah've learned that long ago. But, how'm ah supposed to measure up to them high-and-mighty cityfolk! You 'member what they called my food? Common carnival fare. Right before spittin' it on the ground." Applejack slowly shook her head. "Now the Princess expects me to cater to a heap of 'em? Ah ain't ritzy, and ah can't pretend to be. My down-home apples really _couldn't_ compete with those fancy-schmancy vittles."

"That is completely ridiculous!"

Applejack was suddenly on the business end of Rarity's glare, the one usually reserved for when they butted heads about practicality versus extravagance and other such disputes. It was almost surreal, seeing her get so worked up about someone bemoaning their lack of class instead of her overabundance of the stuff.

"There are only two opinions in the _entirety_ of Equestria that matter in this situation: yours, and Princess Celestia's. And if I recall correctly, the Princess seemed to like your apples well enough during the Summer Sun Celebration! Why, there's a reason she chose you of all ponies to represent the cuisine of Canterlot, and it's not because she's so easily swayed by the opinions of just any haughty upstart. And who would have the _gall_ to disagree with the Princess?"

"But Rarity, aren't you always goin' on about bein' the toast of high society? Ah thought you of all ponies would understand the importance of opinion, it's practic'ly how you live yer life! No offence, 'o course."

"Oh nonsense," Rarity declared, waving an elegant hoof. "That's me, and this is you. When has _Applejack_ needed anyone else to tell her what she's worth? And anyway, it's all about presentation. For this, why, all you need is to look the part! As a pony _specially_ requested by Celestia, you'll have all of Canterlot at your hooves as long as you act like you deserve it – the guests shall fill in the rest themselves. And with those decadent delights, I promise you, nopony in the universe will be able to resist your rustic charms. Their stomachs simply wouldn't allow it!"

"But Blueblood-"

"_Forget_ Blueblood!" Rarity cut in. "Are you really going to let one bad apple ruin the barrel? There's more to the elite than trifling titles; I've learned that the hard way. In fact, you can just leave his crowd to me because _I'm_ going with you."

"_What?_" Applejack exclaimed, completely thrown for a loop. In hindsight, she really should've expected Rarity to invite herself along; it was her scene, after all. But still, the harangued earth pony could do little more than gape for a few seconds. "Rarity, no, ah can't let'cha do that! How can ah make you leave your store for so long?"

"I'm not 'made' to do anything, Applejack, this is my decision and I'm sticking to it. I could help sort the apples, do some of the mincing, it's not like I'll be useless. Were you going to put that on Granny Smith's shoulders? With that hip of hers, I'd be shocked if she made it to the Ponyville Express, let alone Canterlot! And no offence to Applebloom, but I would _not_ let her near any number of sharp implements. Furthermore, with Fluttershy taking care of poor Angel, Rainbow Dash on weather duty all week, Twilight up in Fillydelphia dealing with a shipping mishap, and Pinkie Pie… well, I actually don't know what Pinkie Pie's up to these days, only that it's 'Top Secret!' but in any case, I'm the only one of us in any position to accompany you. I'm sure my patrons will understand the call of the gentry and, of course, socializing at the ball after the banquet would give me a chance to advertise my summer ensembles. It's good business!"

"Gosh Rare, ah don' know what to say…" If she was completely honest with herself, having Rarity there with her would be really comforting. And, well, if none of the others could come, she'd be a lot happier with one of her friends than with none at all. If there was anyone who'd give the best back-up, especially in this situation, it'd be Rarity.

"Then it's settled." Rarity gave a striking smile. "In next week, we'll be going to Canterlot!"

* * *

Yeah, Rarity is my favorite pony. Can you tell?

Something to note, Carolina Reds are apples that ripen during June. I don't know if there's an Equestrian equivalent of the Carolinas, and I'm not smart enough to come up with a good pun.

If I do actually get any reviews, they'll probably be about how "Ditzy Doo is actually Derpy! Gosh, do research!" and the ilk. I'd just like to say that Derpy is a great fan name, but I've always thought that Ditzy Doo was a better pony name. Derpy seems more like a nickname, especially since the only pony to actually call her this so far is RD. If somepony like Twilight Sparkle or Fluttershy or Rarity calls her Derpy, I guess I'll concede but until then I shall fully enjoy my artistic liberties.

I think I made AJ a bit too dramatic, but then again, this is a pretty big deal so she probably would be fREAKING OUT! But hey, hopefully I'll get her down pat.

As a heads up, while this story will hopefully have hints of Rarimac, it won't really be about them as a couple and having sloppy makeouts. If that will completely ruin your day you have been warned.


	2. Taken in, that is, a little night stroll

The week before the ball was a restless one for everypony. From the moment they received the letter, the Apples spent day after day picking their signature fruit, and night after night sorting through each and every bushel for only the ripest, most succulent apples. Applejack and Applebloom went through preliminary sifting, taking all of the obviously inadequate ones from the bunch, Big Macintosh looked over their piles, taking out what he knew didn't quite make the cut and left Granny Smith to examine their handiwork. In the end, the majority was set to be sold at Ponyville with only the barrels closest to perfection set aside to be brought to the castle. It was a meticulous and time-consuming system, but Applejack refused to take any chances with such an important order.

Meanwhile, Rarity had her usual influx of orders for last-minute dresses, suits, and other fashion emergencies, making swift marvels for the procrastinating mare or colt. Carousel Boutique was _the_ place to go if you so happened to need something quick, chic, and (relatively) cheap. But, amidst the endless amounts of commissions and sales, she still made time to stop by Sweet Apple Acres whenever she could; it was the only chance she had to have the two other Apples fitted for their attire, after all. Applejack, to her endless despair, insisted that _if_ she was to make an appearance at the actual ball, her Gala dress would do just fine thank-you-very-much. Of course, that didn't stop Rarity from making another one using some of her fastidiously chronicled measurements.

As it was, Rarity had spent the majority of the night before the trip to Canterlot working with her second-to-last customer. She'd been putting on the final touches of the embroidery on the youngest Apple's ensemble, and while Applebloom technically wasn't needed to model the dress as it was being stitched, pretending that she _was_ gave her a chance to collapse once in a while. It also gave her the chance to vent her frustrations about being Applejack's personal slave, something she couldn't do at the slave-master herself if she wanted to go to Canterlot. Working without complaining was really _really_ hard. Besides, she wasn't _just_ being lazy, she was gathering intel for the job! That was important, right? Applebloom cleared her throat. "So what's this business with the ball anyhow? Don't we _already_ have a summer thingy?"

Rarity laughed, pulling a weird drapey-thing over Applebloom. "Oh no, the Midsummer's Ball is much different. It's when delegates from _all _across Equestria gather in Canterlot! Ponies from San Franciscolt to Trottingham, Vanhoover to Whinnypeg, even ponies from Neighjing and the Crystal Kingdom come to partake in this celebration of the start of summer. I wouldn't be surprised if we crossed paths with your Aunt and Uncle, if what your sister has said about them is true. Think of it as a coda to the Summer Solstice, dear."

So, intel gathered thus far: it's a ball and it is a Big Deal. "But wait," Applebloom paused, scrunching her nose in confusion. "If it's the _Midsummer's_ Ball, why's it about celebratin' the start of summer?" Another pause. "An' what's a _coda?_"

"It's one of those linguistic anomalies I'm sure. Probably to do with how ponies of old kept track of the seasons, something like that." Applebloom nodded, pretending to know what an anomaly was. "Please don't shift so much, dahling. As for coda, well, it's something like an ending. Something that ties up the tail end of whatever needs finishing. As in, this last stitch will be the coda to your stole. _Voilà_!" Rarity wrapped the garment snuggly around the young filly with a magical flourish. "Oh Applebloom, you look positively fabulous!"

The young filly trotted over a nearby mirror and admired the dress she wore. It was a maroon gown with a vibrantly viridian overskirt edged with lace, accented by elegantly puffed juliette sleeves. The décolleté neckline was covered by a chestnut-brown stole with apples embroidered all across the fringe, matching the ones that hemmed her dress. Applebloom trotted back and forth in front of the mirror, grinning at how the skirts flared out behind her. It was gorgeous, somewhat reminiscent of a polonaise (not that Applebloom would know that), but with a more modest, youthful touch.

The best part? She looked every bit an Apple.

"It's absolutely _perfect_, Rarity! Can ah go show Big Mac an' Applejack?"

"Why, of course! This dress was made to be admired, after all." Applebloom ran off to the kitchen, taking extra care not to trip over her new gown in the process. "Make sure to send Big Macintosh back here, will you?"

Rarity busied herself with unpacking the tailcoated suit, looking over it with a critical eye. She'd decided to go with a deep midnight green for the body, several shades darker than the one on Applebloom's outfit. The notched lapel was a russet brown, mostly covered by an accompanying ascot collar on the dress shirt, and highlighted the vivid rubicund of his coat quite wonderfully in her humble opinion. But what to do about the waistcoat? She could always resort to the ever-classic ebony, but…

A soft knock pulled her from her reverie. "Come in, dear!"

Big Macintosh walked through the doorway, nodding his head respectfully. "Y' wanted to see me, Miss?"

"Yes indeed. I've almost finished your suit, I just need to make sure it fits right on you. If you could just stand right in the center there? Yes, perfect, thank you." Rarity's horn lit up with magic as she set about affixing everything properly; there was nothing so tragic as disheveled evening wear, at least nothing she could imagine. She stood back to examine her handiwork, and frowned.

"Everythin' okay, Miss Rarity?"

She circled him, clicking her tongue. "I don't know what, but _something's_ missing. Just using black would be a crime! With _your_ colors, at least. Something to really make these colors pop, that's what I need, not some muting, stifling hue, oh no." She shook her head in disgust. "It's not like I can use red, you've an abundance of it, and blue would _definitely_ just throw the whole thing off…" She stopped, then slapped her forehead. How could she have missed it? She was staring right at the answer the whole time.

"Miss Rarity?"

"Don't move a muscle, this'll only take a second!"

She whipped up the vest in quick time, fabric and needles flying at record speeds. Big Macintosh was sure he felt the occasional whoosh of a pair of scissors soaring too close for comfort. After a bit more magical maneuvering, he found himself sporting a brand new garment underneath his green dress coat. It was straw-yellow, almost the shade of his hair, and Rarity gasped in delight. It was absolutely _perfect_. Really, exactly what the suit needed!

"Big Macintosh, you look absolutely _dashing_. You shall fit right in at the ball, no doubt about that!"

"Y'think so?"

"Well, you certainly look the part. And with your impeccable manners?" She smiled fondly. "Fillies and mares from all walks of life will be vying for your affection, my dear! In fact, I think it's time to show your new look to the rest of the family, wouldn't you agree?" Big Macintosh stepped out obligingly to the excited exclamations of his sisters. He was then dragged over to be presented to Granny, who was quite vocal about what a 'strapping young lad' he'd become, how he's 'done his folks proud', and of course, "now lookit'chyerself an' tell me why I ain't got grankids yet!" Rarity chuckled to herself as she collected her things. She made sure to clean up all the loose threads and fabric scraps, the leftovers from her stroke of inspiration, before joining the rest of the Apples in their festivities. Applejack motioned for her to join in on the fun.

"Rarity, ah don' know how you've done it but you've gone an' made my brother look just like one 'o them cityfolk. Ah barely recognize the feller! Ah can't thank you enough for this, 'specially with the other work you had on yer plate. You _really_ didn't have t' go through all this trouble."

"Golly, he looks jus' like a prince!" Applebloom interjected, bouncing with excitement.

Rarity blushed, basking in their praise. "Nonsense, it was my pleasure. I've always wanted to work with your family; you all have the most vibrant coats I've ever seen!" She stifled a yawn, exhaustion catching her by surprise. "My, it _has_ gotten late," she said as she peered through the window. "I'd forgotten we were scheduled for clouds tonight."

Big Mac trotted over to her, joining her in scrutinizing the sky. "It's awful dark out. Lemme walk you home, Miss."

"Oh no, I wouldn't want you to go out of your way, it's far too long of a trip! I couldn't make you-"

"Miss Rarity, you wouldn't be makin' me do a thing. 'Sides, it'd ease my mind some to see you home safely."

Applejack nudged her friend. "Come on Rare, it's a big day tomorrow fer all of us. Wouldn't want you fallin' asleep on the way home!"

Rarity wavered. Truth be told, she would walk more confidently with Big Macintosh at her side. And, well, she could always use some company…

"Well alright, if you all insist. On one condition, though."

"An' what would that be, Miss Rarity?"

"Just 'Rarity' would be fine. There's no need for such formalities among friends, after all."

* * *

It was about three minutes since they left the house before Rarity began to chafe under the silence. She looked up at her escort, who had (unfortunately) exchanged his suit for his signature yoke and a hardy cloak to ward against the cool summer breeze. It didn't seem brisk enough to need a cloak, at least, not to Rarity, but then again he did tend to brush against the occasional bush on the narrow path between the house and their fields. Rarity reflected with a little guilt that he was probably walking so far to the side so she wouldn't have the same problem. At least the cloak was long enough to cover his torso and most of his flank. Speaking of, there was something that's been bothering her from some time. "Big Macintosh, do forgive my curiosity but how did you get your cutie mark?"

The farmer shrugged. "Not much of a story."

"Yes, but surely there's a story to be told?" Rarity pressed. Now that she thought of it, she didn't know much at all about her companion. He was just solid, dependable Big Macintosh, always part of the background, never really in the limelight. Today was the most they've ever talked to each other! It irked her to no end once she noticed how little attention she paid to the eldest of the Apple foals.

Big Mac thought for a moment, thinking back to those carefree days, before Applejack even really knew what a cutie mark was. "Ah didn't have to go all the way to th' Big Apple an' back for mine, ah'll tell you that. Ah was helpin' Granny out with th' harvest while she was lookin' after Applejack when ah realized that there wasn't much else ah'd rather be doing. Workin' with family, doin' an honest day's work an' helpin' to earn my keep, it was what ah was good at." He paused, glancing at her thoughtful countenance with something akin to embarrassment. "Like ah said, not much of a story."

Rarity smiled in response. "Nonsense, dear. They can't all be sonic rainbooms and soul-searching expeditions. That doesn't make them any less profound. In a way, I think you might be lucky."

He blinked. "How d'you figure?"

"Well," she started, gathering her thoughts, "you never really had the uncertainty about where your life may lead. Look at little Applebloom, she's practically giving herself conniptions over the whole business!" They shared a fond laugh and smiled at each other. "I do think I could've done a bit more if only I'd gotten more of a head start. Granted, it would not have been much, but there's always that lingering feeling of lost time."

"Mi-" he cut himself off, noting her raised eyebrow. "Rarity, if you were able to improve yer flawless taste, that would certainly be a sight to see." She glowed under his sincere praise, trying not to show too much pride.

After that, the conversation flowed much easier. She ended up talking a lot about herself, and listened to him talk a bit about himself.

It was, as Rarity tentatively thought, nice.

* * *

All of those place names come from sections on the official site and an official map, which can be found at the MLP wikia. Can't blame me for those, nope.

I had to look up waaaaaay too much fashion bs to pretend that I actually knew what I was talking about. In the end I just barfed up a bunch of fancy-sounding words and drew a bunch of stuff to make sure it was accurate enough because I am a good writer! That is a true and irrefutable fact, yessiree, no lazy dumb hacks here.

Maybe next time I'll just put a link to a picture or something.

This is shaping up to be a lot more schmoopy and a lot more slow than I thought it'd be.

Sorry guys, gotta get through the boring stuff before we can get to fun party shenanigans. Writing is hard.

I was hoping to include a bit with Applebloom and artistry, because looking at embroidery for an hour or so would probably turn on some lights but then she couldn't be so easily manipulated for later. Ha ha, Applebloom. Ha ha.

Quick think 'fore I go, the Ponyville Express is actually a newspaper. But you know what? I'm going to disregard the (fandom) constabulary because it's a good train name dangit.


	3. Meeting royalty is distressing indeed

I mostly focused on getting this out so it's unbeta'd. That means I've probably messed up with Applejack's accent and other such inconsistancies. Hopefully I'll get that done soon, but until then, enjoy!

* * *

The next morning oddly quiet, considering how momentous the day was. Hardly anyone was at the Ponyville Express. Rarity, who was the first to arrive at the station with her massive mountain of baggage in tow, found herself sharing the platform with a rather shifty brown-coated stallion. He had quite possibly the messiest mop of hair she'd ever seen and most definitely the strangest gizmo clutched between his teeth; after a brief and awkward staring contest she busied herself with thoroughly checking to make sure she had all her essentials. Among these included an emergency back-up dress (in case something _dreadful_ happened to her current masterpiece), an emergency sewing kit (to fix whatever dreadful thing might happen to her current masterpiece), an emergency drawing pad (for late-night inspirations), an emergency make-up kit (in case something happened to the other four)… for every fashion-related emergency, Rarity had a kit (or two) for it. It was only after the third time she went through her belongings that she spotted Applejack trudging up the stairs. Carrying even more than she was. Big Macintosh followed, carrying a pile on his back that rivaled his sister's, and Applebloom trailed behind with by far the most reasonable amount of bags. That amount was approximately twenty-five.

"Good heavens," exclaimed Rarity as she gently lifted a few crates from the heaps that looked more than a little precarious. "I think we'll need an entire car for the luggage alone!"

"Don' worry, it's all part of the Princess' order. She practic'ly got us our own train, if you can believe it." Applejack set down some thirty-odd crates and gave a sharp whistle, signaling the stationmaster. In an instant, a fleet of conductors and engineers and other such workers assisted them in bringing in the apples until they were all safely stowed away. The Princess must've been paying them a king's ransom, as there was not a single complaint throughout the whole endeavor. Not when Applejack fussed about how exactly to stack the boxes ("No, no, no! The gala's go _underneath_ the granny's! Now we gotta stack 'em all over again!"), or when Applejack got underfoot ("golly, did The Princess give you that hat? Is it 'cuz yuh gotta tend to them apples? Do _we_ get hats?"), or even when Rarity elected to sit out after the first few crates ("Those crates are awfully heavy, even with my magic; I simply _cannot_ lift another apple!"). At last, Applejack was satisfied.

"Welp, looks like we're good to go!"

* * *

To her complete and utter chagrin, Applejack was the common denominator that linked the three other ponies. The entire ride was spent swapping tales of Applejack's Greatest Hits.

Hours were spent reliving some of the most embarrassing moments of her life.

"…an' fer weeks afterward, she spoke like a real Manehattenite. Ah tell you, there's never been nothin' stranger than hearing Applejack speak all fancy-like. Every time she asked me t' pass the milk, I was sure the universe was pullin' a fast one on me." Applebloom giggled, trying to imagine her sister talk like, well, Rarity.

"Golly, wasn't she only there fer a day?"

"Dahling, you'd be completely floored if you knew how adaptable your sister was. Have you seen her on the catwalk? I hardly had to teach her anything at all! For all her abhorrence of anything she deems too 'extravagant' or 'feminine', she seems to have quite a knack for it." Applejack groaned, covering her face as her companions laughed it up. If they didn't arrive soon she was sure her brother would bring out the baby stories. Truly, he was without mercy. After a few more agonizing minutes, she perked up as she saw the distant outline of Canterlot and the towering silhouette of its famous castle. Finally!

"Hey gang shut up fer a moment, we're here!"

Her cohorts (finally!) shut up about the time she did something stupid, or silly, or froufrou, and looked out the window. Applebloom practically vibrated with excitement, taking in all the sights. There were the racetracks, and the Equestian Art Museums, and golly, they must've passed at least twenty coffee shops in the past three seconds! And the ponies! Sure there were a ton of 'em in Ponyville, but she knew all of _them_.

Big Mac got up and stretched. "Ah'm gonna go help 'em unload in the back," he announced, much to Applebloom's astonishment.

"Yuh mean you ain't gonna greet the Princess? C'mon Big Mac, you're supposed to be the _polite_ one!"

"An' it's only _polite_ to help out with our luggage," he shot back with ease. "Jus' make sure you tell 'er I said hi." He left the girls and moved towards the back car. Applebloom stuck her tongue out at his retreating back.

Within seconds the train slowed to a stop, wheels screeching in protest. The doors opened, and a familiar silhouette greeted the travelers.

"Nightmare Mngph!" Applejack exclaimed, getting a face full of Rarity's hoof in the process. The unicorn shook her head urgently, smiling brightly at her friend. It was a smile that would've sent a lesser pony flying back to Ponyville through sheer willpower. The midnight Alicorn eyed this exchange with uncertainty, wondering if coming to greet the element-holders was a mistake.

"Princess Luna!" The socialite beamed, kicking her friend's near faux pas neatly under the rug. "How good to see you, it's been _far_ too long." Since the time you tried to plunge the word into eternal night, she didn't say. And tried to ruin Nightmare Night, she didn't add. "How've you been adjusting?" After your thousand-year nap in the moon was something she definitely _did not_ mention.

The Princess shifted uneasily, still unused to friendly advances and how not to scare them away. "We have been adjusting perfectly fine; Our sister has been most accommodating. We regret to inform you, however, that she is unable to personally extend her hospitality as planned, as she is preoccupied with… preparations for the ball."

As Rarity and Applejack shared an apprehensive glance over the peculiar pause, Applebloom peaked from behind her sister's legs with palpable disappointment. "You mean ah don' get t' meet the Princess?"

After an awkward pause, Rarity cleared her throat. "Actually dear, you do! Applebloom, this here's Ni- ah, Princess Luna. I believe you two may have met during the last Nightmare Night festivities?" Rarity held her polite grin in place, trying not to jump when the Princess nodded her head.

"We are very pleased to meet you, Applebloom."

The filly stared long and hard. "Say, aren't you the pony my sister beat with friendship an' stuff?"

Applejack slapped her forehead just as Rarity came down with a sudden cough. Princess Luna blinked, slightly nonplussed by the young filly's candor. _Remember Twilight's lessons, Luna; you can handle this…_

"…yes, We suppose that would be us," said the Princess, baffled. "However, We would rather not be remembered under such circumstances."

"Oh." Applebloom continued to stare. "How come you talk all funny?"

Rarity interrupted before Princess Luna could begin her (indignant? amused? bewildered?) response with a laugh. A slightly hysterical laugh. "Oh Applebloom, why don't you help Big Macintosh with the apples? In fact, we probably should all help with that, wouldn't you agree, Applejack?"

The earthpony nodded a tad too eagerly. "Yup! Gotta get them apples to the castle quick if we want th' ball to be on time!"

"It was lovely seeing you again, Princess!"

"See y'all at the hoedown!"

"But wait, We were sent to assist you-"

"Not to worry, Princess Luna!" Rarity ignored the voice in her head screaming _what are you doing you just interrupted the princess of Canterlot!_ "We know our way around the castle just fine, I assure you!"

With that Rarity and Applejack both grabbed one of Applebloom's hooves and fled towards the back of the train, leaving a very bewildered alicorn in their wake.

* * *

"Applebloom, dahling, please think _carefully_ before you speak to royalty! One wouldn't want a statement to be misconstrued as offensive, or insulting. Heavens, what must Princess Luna think of us!" The unicorn paced anxiously in front of the piles of apples, going through various scenarios in her head. What if Princess Luna was so insulted that she kicked all of them out of Canterlot? Or, what if Princess Luna told Princess Ceslestia, and _she_ kicked all of them out of Canterlot, and had them all banished from Equestira?! Or what if-

"Rarity, yer getting' ridiculous. Just, calm down fer a sec and help us out, alright?"

_When did Applejack learn to read minds_

"Yer thinking out loud again, Rare."

Oh.

"In any case, help is definitely what you need," Rarity continued with as much dignity as possible. "We'll have to have some lessons on etiquette for Applebloom. Goodness, how on earth could I have neglected this!"

Applebloom balked. "Y'mean I gotta take _lessons_ now?" Applejack huffed and shook her head.

"Rarity."

"After all, the decorum regarding the upper class of Equestria is a very delicate and necessary skill to master, especially in these circumstances!"

"Rarity."

"After all, how could we just push dear Applebloom out into the world of debutants without instruction! It would be simply disastrous, and-"

"_Rarity_."

"What?"

"Ah meant with the apples."

"Pardon?"

"Help. With. The apples. Y'got eyes as good at Granny's when it comes to pickin' out the bad ones, so Ah'd really appreciate it if y' help Big Macintosh in the kitchen while Ah get everythin' set up with Applebloom. "

"Right, of course, the apples! Well, I'd better get started now so I can have time to properly acclimate Applebloom to appropriate conduct for the ball."

"Nobody said anythin' 'bout _lessons_," the filly mumbled, kicking sullenly at the ground.

"Hey now, yuh promised – _best behavior_. Ah'm not expectin' yuh to be a clone of Rarity for the night, but yuh gotta listen to her so yuh don't offend nobody, y'hear? Now get along Rare, Big Mac's probably done helpin' out with stackin' boxes on th' carts for some of the guards to take in right 'bout now."

"Eyup."

With an undignified squeak Rarity whirled around. "Big Macintosh, how long have you been there?" Her rather-frayed nerves simply could not take any more surprises!

With an apologetic grin, the colt gave a small half-shrug. "Didn' mean tuh startle yuh Rarity, ah just got finished up in the back. They're gonna take some of th' canapés to the princess for lunch, apparently."

"Wonderful! In that case, allow me to lead you to the kitchen. I could give you a brief tour of castle on the way - it's always good to have an idea of its layout, just so you don't get lost."

"Ah'd like that."

"Then it's settled. Off we go!"

* * *

Rarity took her companion on a meandering path through the palace, talking at length about the significance of certain rooms, halls, and various artwork they came across. Her enthusiasm was contagious and Big Macintosh was surprised at her in-depth knowledge on… well, just about everything. She never faltered throughout her animated explanations. She was just chatting about the history of a breathtaking portrait of Celestia ("given to her by the Crystal Kingdom's royal artist a number of years ago, far before that dreadful…") when she suddenly stopped, eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare. Following her gaze, Big Macintosh found himself under the scrutiny of a white unicorn positively radiating arrogance.

"Oh." Rarity curtly turned her head. "Prince Blueblood. How nice to see you."

The noble sniffed. "Rarity. I see the company you keep hasn't changed."

Big Mac had hardly known this pony for a minute and already he was grating on his nerves. But, well, Granny had instilled in him the importance of Manners, and that was not something so easily discarded. "Afternoon, your Highness," he greeted, meticulously elucidating each syllable. "Ah'm Big Macintosh. Brother of the cook."

The prince deigned to spare him a glance. "What a surprise, it seems there's _somepony_ here who knows their place."

"At the very least, there's _somepony_ here with some etiquette!"

By now their glaring contest had escalated to the point that Big Mac was sure the portrait they were admiring earlier would spontaneously combust if he didn't intervene. "Did you enjoy the meal?"

"Oh yes, I was quite impressed. Very admirable how your family overcame your, ah, circumstances." The farmhand placed a pacifying hoof over Rarity's as she bristled beside him. "After all, one could hardly expect much more from Ponyville's finest."

"Yes," Rarity echoed in a voice that could frost glass. "I suppose, if one _happened_ to be an _ill-informed_-" And with that, Big Macintosh decided it was time they made their exit.

"-It was a pleasure meetin' you, your Highness, but we really must reconvene with my sister. Enjoy dessert," Big Mac called over his shoulder as he escorted a fuming Rarity back towards the direction of the kitchen, bidding a hasty retreat. Once they were out of sight, she exploded.

"How can you be so calm! Didn't you hear those awful things he said?"

Big Macintosh shrugged, hopefully in a placating manner. "It ain't much to get worked up about, certainly not worth getting' into any trouble over, Rarity. Folks'll say what they please, not much you can do 'bout it."

Rarity let out an almost-amused huff. "I don't know whether to be infuriated that you let that uncouth _ruffian_ say whatever he nonsense wanted, or to admire your attitude. Really, that smug oaf deserves a hard hoof to the face, no doubt about that! Can you _believe_ he had the nerve to be such a pretentious, arrogant, _parvenu_?" She began pacing back and forth in front of Big Mac who, for the life of him, couldn't figure what exactly a 'parvenu' was. "I mean, it just isn't right! Where does he get off, insinuating such drivel about the Apple family! Why, you're twice the gentlecolt he'll ever be. In fact…" a dangerous gleam entered those sharp, amethyst eyes. "I think it's time to show that stuffy, uptight _snob_ what _real_ class is. As Celestia as my witness, I won't rest until I give that farce of a prince and his entourage of simpering sycophants a face-full of humble pie!" _As it were, I think Celestia herself would be quite interested in what her nephew had to say…_

Not for the first time, Big Macintosh mentally thanked whoever was listening that Rarity was on their side.

* * *

So yeah, you can probably see where this is going. Man, I love how much of a dumb jerkface Prince Blueblood is, hopefully that'll encourage me to write more quickly. Until then!


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